Social Media and the Thirst for More

A subject that has been brewing slowly since the beginning of social media is the negative impacts it has. Australian model Essena O’Neil, who was very active on social media has made a video to tell the world why she is quitting social media (this video has since been removed along with her YouTube account. It all basically comes down to the issue that it is all fake. She describes how a simple looking Instagram post would have taken hours to shoot to determine the ‘correct’ pose and she would be told to post it at a certain time on a certain day.

From that point of view, when your personal life is determined by a mathematical equation as to when you’ll get the most likes or the most public coverage then your life becomes surrounded in numbers – which was another point O’Neill made in her video. Numbers. They are the crux of social media, from the time you post the photo, status, video etc. to get most likes to how many likes you actually get. And in the end, the number of likes and followers you have is never enough, when you reach a high number of followers or likes or views you always want more – the thirst for more popularity.

When you see someone else getting lots of likes you think, oh I want to be as popular as them, their life is so much better than mines but in reality, they are just posting a good photo that probably highlights about a minutes worth of the rest of their day which could have been shit. It turns into almost a competition with yourself where you feel that if you don’t get as many likes or followers as someone else then you are not good enough.

Lady Gaga at a recent talk explained how, when using social media, we are all “unconsciously lying.” Which is true. I think I can admit and can say it is fair that most people are guilty of posting a nice photo of yourself and waiting to see how many likes you get; posting a funny tweet and deleting it if it doesn’t get X number of retweets or favourites; looking at a picture of yourself and thinking “I look nice in that, that’s going to be my new profile photo.” And there is nothing wrong with that of course, if you look nice in a photo then you’re going to want to let others see it. But the problem lies around when your life becomes consumed in social media and getting likes/retweets/views/whatever that you disconnect from the real world and connect too deep into the internet world.

You may have thousands of followers on twitter or Instagram, you may have hundreds of friends on facebook or get lots of likes but when the shit hits the fan how many of those ‘likers’ can you actually rely on to be there for you. From my own experience I could probably count on two hands maximum the number of people I consider true and real friends who I connect with outside of social media. There are people who like my photos and I like theirs back and I think, oh wow they like me, but in reality, they probably do not give a shit about me or anyone on their feed - chances are they are liking my photos to ensure they get a like back when they post one. Don’t get me wrong, you do of course like other people’s photos and show appreciation by clicking the like button but who genuinely continues to like the generic selfies of “out to the park” or “out with friends” – especially when you do the same pose in every photo – this is something I am incredibly guilty of but I don’t think you realise how silly it all seems until you take a look back and think “why am I taking a photo of this? Who is it going to benefit? My ego? My confidence?”

In uni we were looking at digital preservation and how materials are preserved for future use and my lecturer told us about the staggering amount of social media uploaded every day – around 9,000 tweets a second; there are more photos taken in a day than were taken over the whole 20th century. And the main point of the lecture was – how do we determine what is worth preserving in the mass ocean of Kardahian bums, selfies, food photos, indirect tweets etc. How do we figure out what is important in today’s society so that we have something to show because our present will be someone else’s history and I don’t think that a child in school in 100 years’ time is going to want to look at a selfie of me with the caption “I never smile in selfies” or “I woke up like this”. When looking at it from this point of view, yes social media is an important and ground breaking aspect of today’s society but what do we have to show for it?

Another point that came to my attention the other day was that I realised that every day before I go to uni (or even if I am just going outside alone) I get terribly anxious and usually feel very sick. You’d think that after going to uni every day for a year I’d be used to a routine by now but I still get incredibly nervous about going to uni – and I think ultimately it is the fear of what are people going to think of me? Do I look nice today? Is my hair sitting right? Am I going to meet anyone new today? And I seem to think there is a link between social media and my public anxiety. I think that we, as a society, are perhaps caught up too much in connecting online with other people that it is hard to connect with real people in real life. From my experiences with other people, and with what I have seen of other people, many people act differently online than they do in person, most people would say stuff online that they wouldn’t say in person for example, or I have seen a few people typing in slang on social media but then when you talk to them they speak normally.

The social media world is still full of angst as well though. When you post a photo you have the real lie worries of if people are going to like it or if people will think what you are posting is strange but then with the physical action of somebody ‘liking’ your post then I think it brings an unconscious sense of comfort and false confidence to people. Also, it’s easier to broadcast yourself to a wider audience through the use of hashtags and tags which will publicise yourself more thus almost guaranteeing you more likes. However, it is just a like, a view, a retweet. But for some reason it has such a powerful effect on people that they feel empowered to post more photos, posts and gain more followers.

Another point I want to add is that where you feel uncomfortable in real life, you can change yourself online to become the ‘perfect’ person. Whether it be Photoshop, hiding behind an alias or simply changing your personality when online, it is now easier than ever to pretend to be someone you’re not, perhaps a more conventionally likable person. And what are people liking? Not you, or at least not the real you anyway. They are liking the character you portray yourself to be online. But if they meet you in person what will they really think? Will they tap you on the nose and say “like”? Probably not. And what even are the chances of meeting 80% of the people you have on social media sites – I know I haven’t met many of the people I follow or who follow me so they’ll only ever see me through a photo on Instagram or through a tweet or a post on Facebook.

I do believe social media is a crucial aspect for today’s society and I think the world would come to a halt if it just disappeared. But there is a change that needs to be made because the social media world has just become another market for big business owners to take over and control in order to make them money. Social media should be a way for people to connect and interact with each other, it shouldn’t be about putting on a false show about your life – making others believe that you are something you are not. And I am going to finish with a quote which ultimately sums up this piece of writing:

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel” Steve Furtick